Interview with John McCain, P.O.W

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by Nick Nova

Nick NovaSenator McCain, your critics have targeted you for, in their words, being lock-step in support of President Bush and his program of torture and the loss of habias. Would you comment on these allegations?

Reply: "Yes, I've heard these barbed attacks on more than one occasion during my run for the presidency. Though I am reluctant to bring up my years as a P.O.'W,' that experience is relevant in countering these false characterizations as to who I am."

Senator, sir, the Obama camp has expressed concern that your campaign subscribes to a rally rhetoric that is sowing the seeds of hatred and division, and that your political ads are designed to "inflame" the crowds. Too often during your town hall meetings, it is said that your followers shout out words like "terrorist" and "traitor" and "kill him" whenever Barack Obama's name is mentioned during a stump speech by either you or by Governor Palin.

Reply: "Well, my friend . . . politics is not bean bag. What can I say. The time spent as a P.O.'W' have had no doubt had their residual effects."

Senator, what do you make of the claims made by your opponent that you support tax cuts for the rich, privatizing Social Security, and the outsourcing of jobs?

Reply: "My friend, these are vitally important issues and they are at the core of whether America is going to shake off the effects of the recent collapse of our financial community. The positions I have taken regarding these challenging problems have been influenced by my years as a P.O.'W' but, as everyone knows, I have always believed in transparency when it comes to the political arena."

Finally, Senator, the Obama camp has repeatedly warned voters that a John McCain presidency would simply mean four more years of the failed Bush Administration policies. They have cited the fact that you voted in line with George W. Bush's politics over 90% of the time, and that you yourself stated early on during the primaries that you sided with the President on more up and down votes than even his staunchest allies in the Senate. Given Bush's exceptionally weak poll numbers, how do you respond to these potentially damaging observations?

Reply: "As members of my base well know, I have been a P.O.'W' for some time now. After all, 'W' is the Commander-in-Chief, our sitting President, and the titular head of the Republican Party."

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